Movie: Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

A couple of observations, and then a couple of more serious topics.

Really early on, one of the storm troopers says to set their gun things to “stun” and then he blasts Leia. So, if “stun” is an option, why isn’t that used more often? Stun some rebels, take them to the cell and waterboard them later, right? Stun would be awesome.

Oh, and I love her hair. I love the fashion in general, but her hair rocks. Every time it’s different, and every time it’s some variation of a pastry. Nom nom nom.

This movie looks so dated. Star Wars III was so cutting edge, and to turn around and watch this is to take a step back in time. Bummer. Almost makes me wish they had made the movies 1-6, not 4-6 and then 1-3.

Are Stormship troopers clones? I can’t seem to get a decent answer on this one. I suspect the answer is no. They are all about the same height, the same build, etc. Different voices, though.

If trooper outfits offer no protection, why wear them? Others wear cloth based uniforms, so we know that’s an option. What’s with the plastic, other than our innate knowledge that plastics are the future?

Why does Darth Vader have to do everything himself? Are there no competent people working for the Empire? He has to track down Leia, he has to track down the stolen plans, he has to go kill Obi Wan, he has to go fight the attacking rebel fighters, etc. Where’s the CIA? Where’s the FBI? Is there no secret police, if this Empire really is as evil as they all say? If I were him, I’d be firing / killing a lot of the staff. It shouldn’t take the #2 man to do these things.

How do you move a Death Star? Where are the engines? What make the thrust necessary to move something that big? It’s shaped like a giant golf ball.

Luke has a cell phone for talking to C3PO and R2D2. It’s as big as a candy bar. What gives?

There’s still a trash compactor? Oh, Al Gore — how you have failed us so. Why the hell did we make you Emperor is you can’t even get rid of the need for trash compactors?

Oh, and when they get out of there, I bet they smell like ass. Yuck.

Watching Darth Vader and Obi Wan fight? Two old men? It’s so sad. This is what it’s come to, two old men trying to swing those things around like they’re 19 again? I half expect them to agree to take a break so they can use inhalers or something.

And when Ben dies? And his body disappears? In the other three movies, that never happened. Cut in half, sure, but made invisible or vanished? Wow, it’s like magic.

When the rebel fighters are attacking the Death Star — why is there fire with the explosions? They’re in space — there’s no oxygen to burn.

And a couple of last thoughts about the last movie, because, well, it’s sort of the pivotal movie of the series.

When the Jedi Knights made their move, to try and overthrow the Chancellor, Anakin sided with the Chancellor and the Republic. He went to the Jedi Temple (which sounds pretty hokey) where he ran into a bunch of young Jedi Knight trainees, kids, who are armed with light sabers.

Those are combatants. Now, we’re deliberately left to guess what happened, and it’s painted that Anakin slaughtered the kids. But if those kids are armed and if they fight, they’re combatants.

We were talking today about the My Lai massacre, and the fighting in Vietnam at the time. And we were tying it into Iraq today. A kid comes out of a house and points a weapon at you, you defend yourself, and if they means shooting the kid, you shoot the kid.

Nobody says you have to like it. But you do it.

Ditto for kids with light sabers.

And part of the complaints about Anakin is that he went over the line. He did things that you’re not suppose to do. With My Lai, the Army did an investigation and came up with a slew of reasons. The report, though, really boils down to some simple issues, things like how do you know when you’ve crossed the line of what is acceptable.

And that comes from a mix of genetics, I suppose, and culture. You’re taught it.

And who taught Anakin?

The Jedi Knights.

Who showed him right and wrong? The Jedi Knights.

I think one could argue that Anakin did right, siding with the Chancellor and the Republic, and that the Jedi Knights chose wrong.

Any thoughts on that?

Here, have a cookie.

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