First off, this post has a theme song. Go here and download it first. You’ll want to listen to it before you go any further. Yes, it’s a legal download. Three cheers for Creative Commons!
My friend’s dad use to say that government employees would rise to the level of their proficiency, and then get promoted one more time, right smack into incompetence. The same can be said for this movie series. Gone too far. Pushed their luck. Cashed in. Jumped the shark.
Oh, yuck. From the very get go, this movie has a yuckie factor that will have you pulling your chairs up onto your seats. Ripley is back. Bishop is back. And the alien is back. Did I say that Aliens are just like Alien, only different? Shoot, I said that too soon. Alien? is just like Aliens, only different. Here’s now.
If Alien scared the snot out of you, well, Aliens will… well, it probably won’t. Aliens. A sequel. And in so many ways, it’s not. Alien was science fiction. Well, a combination of science fiction and horror. And when it was released, it not only scared the snot out of bajillions of people like me, it also created or at least helped create a whole new flavor of movie. There hadn’t been anything like it, but there’s been plenty like Alien since then. Same for Aliens, only it ushered in significant changes to American perception of action films and
Back when I was starting my “Summer of a Hundred Movies” project, I watched Alien vs. Predator and Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem. No, I was not smoking a lot of dope back then. I was watching some of those movies I’d just not watch at home with the wife or kids. And really, that list of “Movies I’d Never Watch In the Presence of Another Human Being” has Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem at #6 (Howard the Duck is #1, and Xanadu is #2, if you’re really curious). As i was making my way through the Star Wars series, I
What?? You thought porn for be a forbidden topic? Oh, please. Behind the Green Door is a classic in American pornographic film.? Singlehandedly, it started the boom in the American porn industry.? It is as basic of an American cultural reference as Dirka Dirka jihad Dirka! and cheesy poofs. By today’s standards, it really not a very good movie.?
Oh, did you think I was kidding?? Yes, I next watched Alien vs. Predator.? And let me tell you, it was bad.? Really bad. How bad?? Oh, let me count the ways. It’s bad when the bad guy, who is not on his home turf and not familiar with the area, stops chasing the victim and goes and hides exactly where the victim is headed to hide.? This, my friends, is the opening scene of Alien vs. Predator.? Man, running through the complex, sneaks into a random building to hide, only to discover that the Predator has already chosen